Tuesday, November 27, 2007

I believe it's so

Zombie look and feel alike girl roaming in the office, wearing a purple shirt paired in a jeans. From a bubbly girl, she has transformed into a quiet one, giving fake smile to those who greeted her. Others were anxious and excitedly talk bout her wedding but she can't hide the solemn-ness on her face. Is this what they call pre-wedding jitters? I believe it is so...........

After searching thru the internet, I have to identify myself to have pre-wedding jitters now. They happen because marriage does change your whole life. The jitters don’t necessarily mean you’re having second thoughts about the person you’re marrying. He or she may be the best soul you could ever find. Jitters can come from the life change marriage causes. It changes the way you live, your friends and who you are friendly with, the new family you might be gaining. It’s basically fear of the unknown. Anxiety becomes extreme when a person begins to obsess about whether or not they are making the right decision about something or loses sleep over apprehension that the dress or wedding site may not be quite right. This type of fretting could affect family, social, and work life. To make matters worse, the high stress involved in wedding planning can make people slip into their worst habits. Instead of working as a team, one or both parties may become demanding. Instead of listening, people can become defensive. All this really hit me in at the center button. But the sentence after this is really was a wake up call for me. "Other signs of the disorder include avoiding or manipulating situations to avoid the anxiety. "

After reading thru How to cure the Wedding Jitters on e-how.com. I realise I have to do something to keep myself occupy. They said chocolate is going to make you feel better. Currently in my cube, there's no chocolate to chew on, I guess sweet stuff like carbonated drinks will have to do. And my fav brand is Kickapoo. So while writing this, there's already an open can in front of the screen :) and I feel so much better. Just to share with you on how to cure the wedding jitters.

Introduction
You're about to take the big plunge, so it's only natural to get cold feet. Think about why you're feeling this way, but keep in mind that many brides and grooms experience the pre-wedding jitters - and that there's a reason you said yes in the first place.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately challenging

Things You'll Need

  • Stress Management Counseling
  • Stress Relief Products
  • Incense
  • Airline Tickets
  • Spa Gift Certificates

Steps

1 Step One
Go to a quiet place to get in touch with your feelings whenever the pressures of the pending marriage get to you.

2 Step Two
Reflect upon what you enjoy most about each other, the factors that make you think you'll be happy together and what is really important to you in life and love.

3 Step Three
Think back to the very moment you knew you loved and wanted to spend the rest of your life with your future spouse.

4 Step Four
Look to couples who have survived and celebrated many years of marriage. They can be a good source of support and great role models.

5 Step Five
Talk with your intended about your doubts and fears. You don't have to wait until after the marriage to communicate.

6 Step Six
Limit the time you spend with those who may be doing the doubting for you. Make sure your fears are really your own and not those of your friends or your parents

7 Step Seven
Set aside some time before the wedding to spend a romantic evening with your partner, away from all the wedding talk and plans.

8 Step Eight
Consider going to a couple's counselor to talk out your doubts.

I wrote an email to Hubs this morning, conveying how I feel right since last night after he rejected my idea. He had always stress on open communication since the early stage of the relationship. But sometimes I think he couldn't take my honest opinion. Either he has to learn how to accept words from my heart (which sometimes are not sweet to the ears and heart) or I have to control the way I feel. In each relationship, there has to be give and take.

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