After been in preparation for 9 months, now the wedding is just 3 days away. The feeling is like carrying the heavy belly for so long and now going to give birth, only this time to a wedding. If I were asked to describe my emotion in two words, it will be heavy hearted. Why? I really enjoy the process of getting the things done. I love the feeling of going to the uncle looking for the auspicious date, I miss being in the fitting room trying all the wonderful gowns but can't decided which one to choose, I adore the process of getting the cards and invitation, souvenirs done with my own creativity. Oh well, I actually miss my colleagues and friends fussed over how near my wedding is.
But for once, I don't like the feeling of letting others do the dinner program. I feel left out. Don't know about others, but I felt that the dinner Hubs and his best friend arrange is for them more than for me. It's more of HIS night or THEIR night more than OUR night. Hubs has been losing his hair trying to get all the things in place. He always complain he need to see to so many things. While I offered to help him, he's making most of the decision by himself. I sometimes wonder, was it because he don't want me to be stressed or is he just a controller? He's caring and independent, no doubt about that but I'm so used to making my own decision for the things concerning me and so this time, I totally have the feeling of dissatisfaction. I know if I ever complain to him, he'll be upset or angry or disappointed again. He's been trying to give me the best but here I am, wanted to "complain". I know how heart broken he'll be if he feels that his effort is not appreciated. So what I can do, keep to my darn mouth shut, act like a shy bride and let the whole thing goes by? It will end in just two days, so why start to make a scene out of it? Why can't I pretend that everything is going just the way I dream? Why? Why? Why??? Cause I'm a perfectionist.
*updated on Wednesday 28 Nov 13.59*
An excerpt I took from Get over those pre-wedding jitters.
Forget perfection
But for once, I don't like the feeling of letting others do the dinner program. I feel left out. Don't know about others, but I felt that the dinner Hubs and his best friend arrange is for them more than for me. It's more of HIS night or THEIR night more than OUR night. Hubs has been losing his hair trying to get all the things in place. He always complain he need to see to so many things. While I offered to help him, he's making most of the decision by himself. I sometimes wonder, was it because he don't want me to be stressed or is he just a controller? He's caring and independent, no doubt about that but I'm so used to making my own decision for the things concerning me and so this time, I totally have the feeling of dissatisfaction. I know if I ever complain to him, he'll be upset or angry or disappointed again. He's been trying to give me the best but here I am, wanted to "complain". I know how heart broken he'll be if he feels that his effort is not appreciated. So what I can do, keep to my darn mouth shut, act like a shy bride and let the whole thing goes by? It will end in just two days, so why start to make a scene out of it? Why can't I pretend that everything is going just the way I dream? Why? Why? Why??? Cause I'm a perfectionist.
*updated on Wednesday 28 Nov 13.59*
An excerpt I took from Get over those pre-wedding jitters.
Forget perfection
People focus on perfection. Perfection breeds jitters. Get rid of “perfect.” Everything will not be perfect! The perfect wedding will not happen — accept it, the perfect apartment, the perfect friends, the perfect sister in law, some things are just the way they are and you have to learn how to adapt, which is all normal.
Let go and give away the need to control everything. Be careful about what is fantasy and what is real. Focus on what is truly important.
Perfectionism is about control. If you let it loosen a bit, you will find that the grief, fear and loneliness that many people who are about to marry experience are not only normal but healthy. Everyone questions whether they are making the right decision. Questioning is not doubting.
1 comment:
Don't be stressed. I was like you too..panic the few days before the wedding but then just chill. Sit back and enjoy yah. Anyway..congrats and wishing you a wonderful wedding day. :)
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